I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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