As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
