Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
