Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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