mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You ate ashes out of my bong
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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