i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
