had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize