I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
