he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
