I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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