It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
