you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Damn victory sex feels great
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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