So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
