I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
