She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
