I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
