There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
