I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
