My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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