dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
