easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
