My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
