Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
