She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize