I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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