I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
