good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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