good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize