If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
