I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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