How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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