people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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