they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
They have beer where we have blood.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
