i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
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