I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
