I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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