I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Sext me about skeletons
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize