It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
