you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
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the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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