So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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