Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize