i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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