In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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