She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I am mentally ready for anal.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
