just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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