You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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