I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
