Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
false alarm, still single
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
