were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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