Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
