She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
