i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
