eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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