i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
