next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
