Porn is love you can see.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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