Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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