bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize