yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
