she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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