So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
