does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
