Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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