have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
two words: eviction party
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
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