trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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