I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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