just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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