She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
