I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
