Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Oh god it's open bar.
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