so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
