if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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