Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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